SMART FILIPINO BOY
A Filipino boy was very sad in class.
The teacher asked, “KULITS what is your problem?”
KULITS answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
Teacher had enough. She took KULITS to the principal’s office.
While KULITS waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
KULITS was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is 3 x 3?
KULITS: 9, maam!
Principal: What is 6 x 6?
KULITS: 36, maam!
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at teacher and tells her,
“I think KULITS can go to the third-grade. ”
Teacher says to the principal, “I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?”
The principal and KULITS both agreed.
Teacher asks: What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?
KULITS: Legs, maam!
Teacher : What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?
KULITS: Pockets!
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
KULITS: Coconut!
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft And sticky?
(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, KULITS. was taking charge…)
KULITS: Bubblegum, maam!
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer…)
KULITS: Shake hands!
Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of
questions, okay?
KULITS: Yep!
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
KULITS: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you’re bored. The
best man always has me first.
KULITS: Wedding Ring, maam!
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
KULITS: Nose!
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver. What is it?
KULITS: Arrow!
Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
that means lot of heat and excitement?
KULITS: Firetruck!
Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
& if u don’t get it, u have to use ur hand.
KULITS: Fork!
Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It’s
longer on some men, than on others,
the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his
wife after they’re married?
KULITS: SURNAME!
Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible
for making love ?
KULITS: HEART, maam!
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher :
Principal: Huh! send this Boy to Harvard University!!! Even I got
the last ten questions wrong myself! :D
Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Monday, 9 April 2012
Top Ten List of Superheroes
Top Ten List of Superheroes
Everyone has their own favorite superheroes and usually their own favorite comic book publisher. The top two comic book publishers in the world in number of annual sales are DC and Marvel, not necessarily in that order. Superman, one of the top two on anyone’s top list of superheroes is on the DC roster, Spiderman is on Marvel’s. Growing up, we always thought of Marvel as the coolest, hippest and best, but at that time Marvel was not the best-selling publisher. Below is my Top Ten List of Superheroes. See if your favorite made the grade.
Number Ten: Prime. When Prime number one came out in the early 1990s it had a good twist of a premise. Prime was just an eleven year old suburban boy that transformed into the seven foot tall, massively muscled Prime.
Number Nine: The Silver Surfer. The Silver Surfer is a Marvel hero that came from the Fantastic Four magazines of the late 60s. The Silver Surfer eventually got his own title and joins the Top Ten list of superheroes. He is the cosmos surfing, brooding mystery man that used to work for that big baddie, the colossal Galactus, eater of worlds.
Number Eight: Captain America. This G.I. turned into a science experiment by the army is another classic character that was created during World War II as a way to entertain and inspire the troops. With his trusted sidekick Bucky Barnes, Captain America fought for truth and freedom. He later joined the Avengers in the 60s after being thawed out of a glacier in perfect physical condition.
Number Seven: Green Lantern or Green Arrow. Take your pick, they are both great characters who happen to love the color green. Go figure.
Number Six: The Incredible Hulk. Though he could be a super villain at times, this green behemoth makes the list of superheroes because he was also temporarily a part of the Avengers, a group of superheroes, until they realized that he had a bipolar personality and in the interest of not getting killed themselves they kicked him out.
Number Five: The Fantastic Four. Yes, all four of them belong on my list of superheroes because this comic rocks! Marvel artist Jack Kirby created them along with genius Stan Lee back in the sixties and they are more popular today than ever due to the recent Hollywood movies. Flame on!
Number Four: The X-Men. Again, Marvel shoots and scores with their brilliant lineup of angry mutants led by Professor X. Wolverine is one of the greatest superheroes of all time and he joins a team led by Cyclops, Storm, the Beast, Dr. Jean Grey (Dark Phoenix) and Iceman.
Number Three: Batman (and Robin). DC created this Gotham City defender and his spunky sidekick way back in the forties and he is still going strong after all the great movies including “The Dark Knight” which won an Academy Award for the late, great Heath Ledger. Although they do not technically have “super” powers, they make the list of superheroes in a big way.
Number Two: Superman. Not much to say here. Everyone knows the S-man. Look, up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s….well, you know who.
Number One: Spiderman. This is of course a personal favorite because I grew up with him, though my kids prefer Smallville and Superman. Spidey’s alter ego Peter Parker was like every other nerdy boy growing up. Bullies pushed him around at school and he could never get the girl. One day he is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains the agility, web-making, and strength of a spider. Well, a very large spider anyhow.
Everyone has their own favorite superheroes and usually their own favorite comic book publisher. The top two comic book publishers in the world in number of annual sales are DC and Marvel, not necessarily in that order. Superman, one of the top two on anyone’s top list of superheroes is on the DC roster, Spiderman is on Marvel’s. Growing up, we always thought of Marvel as the coolest, hippest and best, but at that time Marvel was not the best-selling publisher. Below is my Top Ten List of Superheroes. See if your favorite made the grade.
Number Ten: Prime. When Prime number one came out in the early 1990s it had a good twist of a premise. Prime was just an eleven year old suburban boy that transformed into the seven foot tall, massively muscled Prime.
Number Nine: The Silver Surfer. The Silver Surfer is a Marvel hero that came from the Fantastic Four magazines of the late 60s. The Silver Surfer eventually got his own title and joins the Top Ten list of superheroes. He is the cosmos surfing, brooding mystery man that used to work for that big baddie, the colossal Galactus, eater of worlds.
Number Eight: Captain America. This G.I. turned into a science experiment by the army is another classic character that was created during World War II as a way to entertain and inspire the troops. With his trusted sidekick Bucky Barnes, Captain America fought for truth and freedom. He later joined the Avengers in the 60s after being thawed out of a glacier in perfect physical condition.
Number Seven: Green Lantern or Green Arrow. Take your pick, they are both great characters who happen to love the color green. Go figure.
Number Six: The Incredible Hulk. Though he could be a super villain at times, this green behemoth makes the list of superheroes because he was also temporarily a part of the Avengers, a group of superheroes, until they realized that he had a bipolar personality and in the interest of not getting killed themselves they kicked him out.
Number Five: The Fantastic Four. Yes, all four of them belong on my list of superheroes because this comic rocks! Marvel artist Jack Kirby created them along with genius Stan Lee back in the sixties and they are more popular today than ever due to the recent Hollywood movies. Flame on!
Number Four: The X-Men. Again, Marvel shoots and scores with their brilliant lineup of angry mutants led by Professor X. Wolverine is one of the greatest superheroes of all time and he joins a team led by Cyclops, Storm, the Beast, Dr. Jean Grey (Dark Phoenix) and Iceman.
Number Three: Batman (and Robin). DC created this Gotham City defender and his spunky sidekick way back in the forties and he is still going strong after all the great movies including “The Dark Knight” which won an Academy Award for the late, great Heath Ledger. Although they do not technically have “super” powers, they make the list of superheroes in a big way.
Number Two: Superman. Not much to say here. Everyone knows the S-man. Look, up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s….well, you know who.
Number One: Spiderman. This is of course a personal favorite because I grew up with him, though my kids prefer Smallville and Superman. Spidey’s alter ego Peter Parker was like every other nerdy boy growing up. Bullies pushed him around at school and he could never get the girl. One day he is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains the agility, web-making, and strength of a spider. Well, a very large spider anyhow.
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